Here is the fact: kids will do what they see you do. They will not do what you tell them to do.
When we need them to grow up with good values, we are essentially telling them to BE in harmony with what they SAY and DO. And to ensure that – because they are very quick to catch our lapses – we get into harmony ourselves. So, in a sense, our kids become our teachers. They are purer – and lesser obscured – from true human nature than we are. That is why we stand to gain a lot by aligning with them, rather than making them align with our dogmatic views, which barely serve us anyway.
Our kids – or other juniors that we take time to counsel and have open discussions with – are, therefore, our windows to new perspectives. And we must be open to them. Even pets can teach us a lot since they too have lesser obscurations. But we must make a habit of prioritizing time for interactions with them. These interactions are not side-bits to be given attention during commercial breaks while watching soap operas or alongside homework guidance. These are the replacements for TV time or homework time because they are the real deal.
In fact, you will experience that the homework gets done faster, and maybe even independently when you have reserved time for such an interaction. They will absorb better because of the love they experience, and you can cleanse your spirit, thanks to their less contaminated perspective. The entire process builds energy, like the 30-second breathing breaks do. Scientists would attribute it to oxytocin infusion. So, would you like to know how to break your inertia and go all the way?
Here are two principles to apply.
The Airhostess Principle
Remember the way she says, "You must put your oxygen mask on first… before helping your kids to it." Well, instead of using your kids as an excuse for not breaking a habit pattern, you could use them to break it and demonstrate the example. It would take courage, as we fear the ridicule of failure. But you know what? Kids do not even notice our initial failings.
Sarcasm and contempt are the monsters of our adult minds. Our self-made projections, fears, low vibrations. Courage is the one higher vibration that changes all of it. Courage to look your kids in the eyes and tell them about the changes you're making… and the failings you're having… and how you are overcoming them. In a sense, you get accountable to them. They will respect you for the higher vibes they receive from you. And you will set an example to have them overcome their self-made blocks.
The Tracksuit Principle
Let's say John had decided that he must start jogging. There was only one problem. His alarm clock had a snooze button, and his habit was to use that. Now because he used it, he overran his running time sleeping. But being a good student of this course, he changed that habit quite quickly, by deactivating the snooze option. Now when his alarm rang, his mind got focused on getting up without options. But he still had excuses to not-run. It was too cold. Or too hot. Or too rainy. So what did John do? After brushing his teeth, instead of customarily going to the closet to pull out his clothes, he made a habit switch and changed from his pajama into his track pants. And guess what? His mind prompted him forward. Now that he'd worn the pant, he might as well wear the full suit. He could make his coffee and read his book in his tracksuit instead of his pajama. But no.
Once he'd worn that, again, his mind sent feedback, saying hey, you're already in your tracksuit… wear your shoes and then make your coffee. And once he'd tied his shoelaces, he found an impulse that pushed him out of the door… just for 2 minutes… to smell the fresh air outside… And what do you know? John came back after a good 15-minute run. Read his book with his coffee as usual. And then got ready. But he'd broken the excuses. Broken the inertia. By taking small steps, each under no obligation of taking the next.
Now how can you apply this? You can maybe, switch off your TV set. Maybe nobody speaks. But make it a 2-minute gadget-break, to begin with. And see where it takes you. Fact is, you cannot steer a parked car. So get moving… and then we can address any impediments that come up. Usually, your mind will fix them. Or you could use that initial gadget-break to brainstorm what to do next. You are your own mentors. And I suspect, the younger ones are better!
In the next lesson, we will see how you can, as a family, use this time together to practice another form of body mind spirit harmonization, meditatively. It is the R-M-E syncing. Sync up for it!