Hello and welcome to lesson 6 how to create and live an authentic life on your terms. In today's lesson, we are going to talk about setting boundaries, and this has got to be one of my favorite concepts to teach others, because most people do a really lousy job of setting boundaries with others, and wonder why they constantly feel frustrated and annoyed. Protecting your time and your core values Should be your priority. Setting boundaries with people who impose themselves on you consistently is one of the most liberating things you can do. By setting boundaries, you are telling others that you have a high level of self-respect and your needs and your values come before anybody else's needs and wants.
Let me share a story with you so that you can visualize this concept. Recently, I was speaking at a teachers and administrators conference in Las Vegas and during the Q&A session of my presentation, a lady an administrator told me how a teacher at her school would call her every single day and consume at least an hour of her time with the same problems and the same issues. She was completely frustrated and did not know how to set a boundary with this teacher. My advice to her was this:
Number one you don't always have to answer her phone call.
Number two you can answer the phone call and preface it by saying hi, I only have 15 minutes right now, so if you need more time, we will have to schedule that at a mutually beneficial time on both of our calendars.
Number three you can implement office hours, meaning you specify specific times of the day on specific days of the week that people can access you, and outside of those times you are inaccessible unless it's an absolute emergency.
Number four, the administrator could provide the teacher with tools and ideas that she would have to try before she called her every day.
You see, there are always different ways that we can set boundaries with others and in doing so, we create space for problem-solving, Independence and of course, a healthy and comfortable distance with others.
You can do this in your professional life as well as in your personal life, and it will certainly feel awkward the first couple of times, but once again remember that personal development work is a daily practice and the more you implement these concepts, your day-to-day life will be much easier as there is a structure in place that benefits you and others without violating your time, attention or expertise.
Is there someone in your life that you need to set a boundary with?
If so, think about the specific scenarios that make you roll your eyes or make you very uncomfortable with this person, there is usually a pattern. These are the situations where you need to implement a boundary.
Determine what your ideal situation with this person would be and then reverse engineer it to create a win-win scenario where you feel safe and comfortable while still serving the people in your life.