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Control the Controlables and Stay in Your Own Lane

You will learn how to identify what you can and can't control and also how to avoid conflict with others by staying in your own lane.

Control the controllables. In the model, almost all your feelings come from your thoughts. So when you feel the need to be in control, that need comes from your thoughts. Your thought has to do with wanting or needing to be in control—ask yourself why? What are you making not being in control mean? Fear you have of not being in control or wanting to be in control in order to help someone else. The only person you have control over is you. The sooner we recognize and accept this fact, the better off we will be in life. You cannot make someone do anything against their will. And you will not find peace in your life if you do not allow people to be who they are.

Second part of this lesson: stay in your own lane. Think about when you are driving down the road in your car, the only way you have a safe trip is if you stay in your own lane. If you get distracted for a second or you reach for something and your car starts to veer into another lane, you need to correct it immediately and get back in your own lane or you are going to most likely cause an accident by crashing into another car or going off the road and hitting a tree. This is a good visual for you to realize why you should not get involved in anything that doesn't involve you. Unless someone asks, don't give your opinion or make a remark that could possibly cause an accident. Use a personal example of arch and plowing for a neighbor… I remembered, stay in your own lane! Me getting involved by bugging him, not going to be good.

It's another matter entirely if someone asks your opinion or asks for your help. They are inviting you into their lane. Think of it as if they are waving you on as you are trying to merge into a lane.

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Written by

Annette Quarrier